Blast from the Past!

So I find this "queer desi blog" and while reading it kept thinking the writing style looked really familiar until it suddenly hits me that OMG I know who this is, because we (being "birdie"(??) and I) kinda almost bumped pretties at one point...

When I met her, she reminded me of how intense I used to be when I was her age, and something else was familiar - not sure. it might have just been that she is also from Pakistan, but I think it was more her features, she had my grand-dad's features. Also her insistence on acting like a straight guy with girls - I used to do that, then when I met her, I had consciously decided to try out being "the girl" in my interactions, which I guess fit with us almost bumping etcs. except I wasn't very comfortable in the role, and I felt a little schizophrenic watching her play my role (also I was in this weird place where I had just stopped speaking to my epic first crazy r/s person, and several other things were going on.. ANYway)... it's been almost 2 years since, and I've realized I don't need to decide on a role, it's fun to play roles, but I don't really have to decide on one, you play off of each-other, things happen, different things with different people. Err.. yeah..

AAAAAAAAHH IDENTITY CRISIS!!! WHO AM I????



Um. yeah.

I think I need something deeply satisfying so I am not so restlessly looking for novelty to keep me engaged..? distracted..? Growing up sucks. The older you get the more you want.. no... the better quality you want... be it furniture, or relationships, we start demanding more meaning, more depth, more quality, more .. something...

Blogging intentions: updated

I started this blog about 9 months ago to have my own little "sex and the city" column. Except I don't date much, and even worse I am intentionally going through a very dry spell right now as I try to figure out what the hell is going on with my life. So ironically enough, I have drifted from the stated intent of the blog to the actual title of the blog. I am in the midst of a serious Quarter Life CRISIS!!!!!

The female Hitch?

In a previous post about dating, when I went on a date with a (unbeknown to be me) married man, I talked about how my friend advised me to .. well basically look sexy, and the way I expressed it in my feminazi post was to make him sound like a chauvinist who is promoting objectification of women, which of course made him very happy :P (note: sarcasm)

In any case.. watch the trailer.

Survival in today's economy

When you are starving, and the people around you aren't.. and they watch helplessly cuz they don't know how to help you. You feel anger, frustration, resentment, disappointment. They don't know what you need, they don't have it to give it to you. And you feel desperate, so you resent them, looking for something someone to quench your hunger.

There must be a term for this. There is survivor guilt, but what do the people who don't survive feel (assuming they are still alive). Resentment. Abandonment. Because people naturally feel the need to stick together, and people naturally expect that... Except capitalistic society these days, works on the assumption that human beings are selfish, and will automatically pick the individual over the group... and based on society rules, and what we are told, we do exactly that. We look after our own survival, but it's not nearly as simple as that. Our natural human instincts are still there, the anger, resentment, guilt continues to exist. We know in the end, we survive better as a group than alone.

I found this article about Lay-off Survivors. Capitalism continues doing what it does, and the unnatural nature of it leaves us uneasy.