Sunday, January 25, 2009

Blast from the Past!

So I find this "queer desi blog" and while reading it kept thinking the writing style looked really familiar until it suddenly hits me that OMG I know who this is, because we (being "birdie"(??) and I) kinda almost bumped pretties at one point...

When I met her, she reminded me of how intense I used to be when I was her age, and something else was familiar - not sure. it might have just been that she is also from Pakistan, but I think it was more her features, she had my grand-dad's features. Also her insistence on acting like a straight guy with girls - I used to do that, then when I met her, I had consciously decided to try out being "the girl" in my interactions, which I guess fit with us almost bumping etcs. except I wasn't very comfortable in the role, and I felt a little schizophrenic watching her play my role (also I was in this weird place where I had just stopped speaking to my epic first crazy r/s person, and several other things were going on.. ANYway)... it's been almost 2 years since, and I've realized I don't need to decide on a role, it's fun to play roles, but I don't really have to decide on one, you play off of each-other, things happen, different things with different people. Err.. yeah..

AAAAAAAAHH IDENTITY CRISIS!!! WHO AM I????



Um. yeah.

I think I need something deeply satisfying so I am not so restlessly looking for novelty to keep me engaged..? distracted..? Growing up sucks. The older you get the more you want.. no... the better quality you want... be it furniture, or relationships, we start demanding more meaning, more depth, more quality, more .. something...

3 comments:

gaycaviar said...

I'm sure the sex would have been interesting (read: provocatively aggressive).

spectrum said...

hi ;)

Thakki Patang said...

damn..