Monday, April 28, 2008

The Quarter life crisis.

Courtesy Wikipedia:

Kazimir Malevich's impressionist Unemployed Girl (1904)
Kazimir Malevich's impressionist Unemployed Girl (1904)

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:

  • feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
  • frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
  • confusion of identity
  • insecurity regarding the near future
  • insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
  • insecurity regarding present accomplishments
  • re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
  • disappointment with one's job
  • nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
  • tendency to hold stronger opinions
  • boredom with social interactions
  • loss of closeness to high school and college friends
  • financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
  • loneliness
  • desire to have children
  • a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

I have decided life in the US is plutonian. I just looked up plutonian, and that's not the meaning I was going for.... What I meant was... the blank slate has gone to an extreme. You start from scratch over and over again. You move away from home to go to college, you move away from college to go to work. Every time you establish yourself into an identity, form an idea of who you are, the next step in your life is there to destroy all your misconceptions, and test all of these beliefs.

When you are five you are taught to be pure and honest and kind and sincere, and generous and compassionate and humble, as if you can get through life with such noble self less characteristics. You are completely unprepared for the cynical practical competitive capitalistic world you are being thrown into, with nothing to protect you because you are going in with a deluded open heart.

In high school you can be top of your class, the star student, the star child, most popular, whatever, the person with the noble aspirations, the cool kid, etc etc. then you go to college and everyone at your college is top of their class, now what do you do? Not everyone can be top of the class anymore. You have to forget your identity, who you were and re-establish/re-earn that role in college or pick another role.

So now you think you are smart, you are capable, you can do anything, because you have studied so much about the world, you went to a prestigious college, you studied philosophy and science and did research and worked with the smartest people in their fields, you are going to change the world, you are going to be challenged and challenge the status quo...

But guess what, before you get too cocky - the job world, is going to bring you down a few notches again. So what if you studied Socrates and saw how petty politics caused war and strife, you will still have to deal with office politics.. yes it *does* feel like you are back in high school, but so what? You thought going to college and being an adult meant you would grow out of that and never have to deal with it again? No sirree!

Yes your professors thought you had revolutionary ideas, you were smart and special and bright and they were oh so proud of you. Your employer doesn't give a crap. You are there to further your bosses career. They are not there to mentor you, they are there for their own career and to bring home the bacon and break you out of the delusions that college instills in you. So you either better come back down to earth, and realize that even though your professors thought your ideas were worth listening to, it doesn't mean that anyone in the real world with any power at all to implement your oh so revolutionary ideas cares. And now you have to trudge along like the "common people" and climb up the ladder the same way every one else does....


And they wonder where the quarter life crisis comes from.

The quarter life crisis comes when you realise that nothing you were ever told about yourself and the world is true, that you don't know who you are or what you believe and the world is completely incompatible with what you thought it would be.

Next come the thirties,when you decide f*** this s***, I am going to start my own start up!


Honestly though, I think we come full circle. Parents aren't idiots for teaching us noble, compassionate ideals. The hope is that once we get through life and attain the power and stability we fight through our 20s and 30s and 40s to attain.. we will go back to those ideals and chuckle fondly at the young fledglings who are struggling through their crises and tell them, its all going to be ok.

Habib Jalib - Mainay Uss Say Yeh Kaha - Laal

Habib Jalib - Mainay Uss Say Yeh Kaha
Shahram Azhar - Vocals
Taimur Rahman - Music
Mahvash Waqar - Backing Vocals
Taimur Khan - Director Producer
Dita Peskova - Assistant Director
Jamie Mill - Recording Director
Laal & Taimur Khan - Music Producer
WIDEi Films - Production Company

"Main Nay Kaha" is a satirical poem by the famous leftist poet Habib Jalib called "Musheer" (Advisor). Jalib wrote it in response to a conversation he had with Hafiz Jalandari during the time of Ayub Khan's dictatorship. It remains just as fresh and valid today.

The music video contains real images of events in Karachi, London, and Lahore during the tumultuous period between December 27th and February 18th. The song and video were recorded on a shoe-string budget of one session each.

This video and song are connected to a documentary on a journey through a life-changing period in the history of Pakistan. The journey begins in Pakistan on the eve of the assassination of Benazir and the ensuing grief, violence, and carnage. The film maker travels to London to discover a group of young activists organizing protests against Emergency rule. Following these activists full circle to Pakistan, the documentary captures the events around the 2008 elections. The film thus captures a moment in the life of Pakistan, from Benazir's assassination to the elections, through the lens of young activists. The documentary by Widei Films will also be released shortly.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Kate Walsh and David Spade Talk About Maxim's Hot 100

This is really really funny.

On a more serious note, I don't know if I buy into men rooting women against each-other. I think we would be just as competitive in the absence of men. It's not men that make us competitive, it's societal expectations. You grow up being told these are the things you strive for and you have to be the hottest, most charming, most generous, kind, proud, noble, accomplished woman around to get anywhere, and then you are supposed to get along with all the other women who are fighting for the position you are striving for? Hellz no! This is not about men's approval. I mean we are competitive about things men don't even notice! And the same with men. I mean do they think we care how big their balls are? I mean .. really? I would be happy if they didnt have any, but to a man they are IMPORTANT. We are competing on our own terms, not mens.

And objectification, us women love being told we are hot... Please appreciate our beautiful breasts. Just don't act like we aren't there and we don't see you checking us out. Cuz that makes us think you think we are idiots... who are blind. And also it's about you. You kind of have to earn the privilege to admire us. If you are ugly and fat and dumb, we'd much rather not have your approval cuz we assume you have bad taste so it's kind of an insult to us that you like us. You need to be "in our league" to think you have a right to ogle. This isn't about sexism, it's simple darwinism. We don't want to be stuck with the evolutionarily stunted men, and we would like to believe we deserve better..

Of course all these theories are thrown off-kilter when you think about queer sexualities. If you are a lesbian, you don't want any man admiring your whosit whatsits, because that's just not the team you are playing for, and NONE of them are in your league, cuz you're batting for the other team yo. Somehow gay men don't seem to have that issue, they seem to be happy to take admiration wherever it comes from. (stereotypically speaking... not trying to generalize on everyone)...

So what it boils down to for me is "Objectify me, only if I think you're worth objectifying. And don't ever underestimate me."

=O Unbelievable!

The Indonesia Conference of Religions and Peace came to a startling conclusion this past weekend -- homosexuals and homosexuality are natural and created by God, thus permissible within Islam.

The collection of moderate Muslim scholars emphasized that the condemnation and persecution of sexual minorities stem from narrow-minded interpretations of Islamic teachings. Scholar Siti Musdah Mulia, a champion for both Islamic and women’s rights, cites Koran's al-Hujurat (49:3)
"Those that lower their voices in the presence of Allah's Messenger,- their hearts has Allah tested for piety: for them is Forgiveness and a great Reward."
Queer i s t a n


The blog world seems to be the perfect place to be completely narcissistic and have my own little sex and the city column without feeling self absorbed.


Because everyone does it.

That is all for today :)