Am I Bi?
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Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Love and relationships: different types of couples
We grow up with these different ideas about them.
Bollywood: Angst, drama, fighting against family and society, hormones, intensity, "ishq", extreme loyalty, and then usually happy endings.
Hollywood: Girl next door meets boy next door, obstacles (but mostly of the insecurity and miscommunication variety, nothing as dramatic as bollywood), and then usually happy endings.
TV:
Sitcoms: Cliched things happen (all men are like this, and all women are like that - haha everyone is predictable) but in the end everyone loves each-other.
Parents: well.. depends on your parents clearly :)
Other adults: aunts, uncles, older siblings and cousins.. again depends on what you are exposed to.
In my experience I have seen these types..
1) So there are some that seem to have a true connection. They both have similar dreams and desires and values and passions and goals in life. They don't need to actually work on having mutual respect because they just connect, they get it. The only thing that can screw them over is insecurity/emotional issues they grew up with.. because otherwise they are solid and clearly meant to be together.
2) Then you meet couples that get on just cuz they are the kind of people that get on with everyone (see hollywood). They are pleasant, polite, helpful, "good" "generic" people who like almost everything but aren't necessarily passionate about anything and hence less cause for conflict.
3) Then you meet couples that thrive on drama and intensity (see bollywood) - if its not external, it's internal, if it's not real, it can be created - that's what keeps the passion going for a while but can burn you out if you don't somehow find something more meaningful to keep you going.
4) And then there are the ones that are "good enough". Don't want to be alone forever - they are passionate people but not necessarily with the 1) kind of connection but close enough understanding that they find eachother good people to come home to, cuddle, vent about your day. Like to do enough things together to keep things pleasant. Don't have any significant clash of values, can plan things together, can usually survive through stressful times. It works.
5) And then there are the ones that started off as 3) and then once the initial passion got exhausting, instead of burning out and ending things they figured, let's give it a shot. These can, I guess end up as 4) if they work out, or 6) otherwise
6) After having somehow managed to get through the beginning as 1, 2 or 3 as they get to know eachother better, they realise.. they aren't really so connected, or as generic (they are nice, but they have some defining values and characteristics), or without the drama there isn't that strong a connection - except they have gotten attached, and don't feel like there is much hope finding anything else out there. So they resign themselves to making the best of what they have. Usually they end up bickering and resenting eachother and then making up and settle for eachother.
7) There are also relationships that start off as "casual" or friends with benefits or whatever which can lead to any one of the above.
Can you guys think of any other kinds that are out there?
Bollywood: Angst, drama, fighting against family and society, hormones, intensity, "ishq", extreme loyalty, and then usually happy endings.
Hollywood: Girl next door meets boy next door, obstacles (but mostly of the insecurity and miscommunication variety, nothing as dramatic as bollywood), and then usually happy endings.
TV:
Sitcoms: Cliched things happen (all men are like this, and all women are like that - haha everyone is predictable) but in the end everyone loves each-other.
Parents: well.. depends on your parents clearly :)
Other adults: aunts, uncles, older siblings and cousins.. again depends on what you are exposed to.
In my experience I have seen these types..
1) So there are some that seem to have a true connection. They both have similar dreams and desires and values and passions and goals in life. They don't need to actually work on having mutual respect because they just connect, they get it. The only thing that can screw them over is insecurity/emotional issues they grew up with.. because otherwise they are solid and clearly meant to be together.
2) Then you meet couples that get on just cuz they are the kind of people that get on with everyone (see hollywood). They are pleasant, polite, helpful, "good" "generic" people who like almost everything but aren't necessarily passionate about anything and hence less cause for conflict.
3) Then you meet couples that thrive on drama and intensity (see bollywood) - if its not external, it's internal, if it's not real, it can be created - that's what keeps the passion going for a while but can burn you out if you don't somehow find something more meaningful to keep you going.
4) And then there are the ones that are "good enough". Don't want to be alone forever - they are passionate people but not necessarily with the 1) kind of connection but close enough understanding that they find eachother good people to come home to, cuddle, vent about your day. Like to do enough things together to keep things pleasant. Don't have any significant clash of values, can plan things together, can usually survive through stressful times. It works.
5) And then there are the ones that started off as 3) and then once the initial passion got exhausting, instead of burning out and ending things they figured, let's give it a shot. These can, I guess end up as 4) if they work out, or 6) otherwise
6) After having somehow managed to get through the beginning as 1, 2 or 3 as they get to know eachother better, they realise.. they aren't really so connected, or as generic (they are nice, but they have some defining values and characteristics), or without the drama there isn't that strong a connection - except they have gotten attached, and don't feel like there is much hope finding anything else out there. So they resign themselves to making the best of what they have. Usually they end up bickering and resenting eachother and then making up and settle for eachother.
7) There are also relationships that start off as "casual" or friends with benefits or whatever which can lead to any one of the above.
Can you guys think of any other kinds that are out there?
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